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Wise words:No matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work.
--Mother Teresa

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A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?"

She then wiggled her backside and walked off.

"Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife.

"Er- just a woman I met professionally." stammered the doctor.

"Oh yeah?" his wife snarled. "In whose profession? Yours or hers?"

A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!!-me-

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas .
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas ."
When he finally arrived in Texas , he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas ."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally stumbled and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

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Jokes and local stories will be constantly changing.